No. I don’t beleve you, I squealed waking from a dream as my wife rubbed my back. No, it won’t be ok. I got up, used the bathroom, looked at my face in the mirror, and wiped the tears from my eyes.

In my dream state I was planning a trip to Virginia since Dad has passed. I was reminded that my aunts died years ago. So, I planned a trip to Kentucky and was told my grandparents, too, are long gone. In the dream I turned to the present in which my Dad died last month. My distress grew! It cannot be!

But it is. In the waking world, Dad is gone. We memorialized him Tuesday and we returned his ashes to the earth yesterday. I ache in my deep subconcious and every level of my awareness.

Dad is gone.